Trial & Error & Error Podcast

Wedding planning looks dreamy on Pinterest, but in real life it is a mix of excitement, big decisions, and a few “wait… how much?!” moments 😅💍
In this episode, LJ shares her real-time wedding update: what the engagement was like, how couples can set expectations together, and the budgeting reality check that hits fast 💸. From choosing a venue 🏛️ and navigating guest list feelings 📋, to finding the right vendors 🎶📸🍰 and adding personal touches like the dress 👗, this is a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to plan a wedding while keeping the relationship at the center ❤️✨
🌟 Key Takeaways
Get aligned early as a couple so planning feels like teamwork, not tension 🤝❤️
Budget first, dream second because wedding costs add up quickly 💰🧾
The venue drives everything including the date, guest count, and overall vibe 🏛️🗓️
Guest lists are emotional so boundaries and kindness matter 📋🫶
Pick vendors based on priorities since they shape the experience of the day 🎶📸
Expect stress, but protect the joy by building in fun moments along the way ✨🍰
Perfection is optional but love and intention are not 💞

Ever feel like you’re one slightly-too-optimistic to-do list away from spontaneously combusting? Same.
In this episode, Ale and LJ take on the philosophy of burnout: why “we work less than ever” can still somehow feel like “I have 37 jobs and they all hate me.” We unpack how modern achievement culture turns us into our own boss, our own employee, and our own extremely judgmental HR department.
Expect big thoughts, small jokes, and at least one spiritual attack on hustle culture. 😌🔥
✅ Key Takeaways
Burnout is not just tiredness. It is chronic exhaustion plus cynicism and that creeping “I’m failing at life” feeling. 🫠
Achievement culture hands you the whip. Nobody has to pressure you when your inner critic is working overtime. 🧠⚡
Individualism can make everything transactional. Friends become “networking,” dating becomes a job interview, and vulnerability becomes a risk assessment. 🧍‍♀️📉
Rest becomes suspicious. If your hobby does not monetize itself by Tuesday, capitalism is disappointed in you. 😭🧘
The irony: the “freer” you are to become anything, the less free you feel while chasing an impossible perfect version of yourself. 🪞🏃
🔗 Resources
Mentioned in the episode
Unsolicited Advice (YouTube) — inspiration for the episode’s philosophical framing
Byung-Chul Han — The Burnout Society (key idea: the “achievement society” and self-exploitation)
Extra resources for listeners
Christina Maslach & Michael P. Leiter — research on burnout (incl. the Maslach Burnout Inventory)
World Health Organization (WHO) — “Burn-out” (ICD-11) definition and overview
Cal Newport — Slow Productivity (and related talks on sustainable work)
Emily & Amelia Nagoski — Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Johan Hari — Lost Connections (on disconnection, meaning, and well-being)

Couples therapy is not just for relationships on the brink. In this episode, LJ and Ale unpack when to start couples therapy, what research says about timing, and the signs that “we’re fine” might actually mean “we’re stuck.” 💬🧠
You’ll hear about:
Early intervention and why it works ✅
The “Four Horsemen” warning signs ⚠️
High-risk transition seasons that can test any relationship 🔁
Different therapy styles, from EFT to the Gottman Method 🧩
How to find a therapist that fits you (not just the internet) 🔍
If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s “bad enough” to go to therapy, this episode is your gentle nudge: you do not have to wait for a disaster to get support. 🫶🏽
🎛️ Editor’s note: The audio quality in this recording is not our best. We’re sorry about that, and we appreciate your patience while we keep improving our setup.
📚 References
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (2015). Consumer Update Survey.
Doss, B. D., et al. (2009). The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Gottman, J. M. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Simon & Schuster.
Johnson, S. M., et al. (1999). Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice.
Wiebe, S. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2016). A review of the research in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Williamson, H. C., et al. (2016). Timing and effectiveness of couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
Perel, E. (2017). Mating in Captivity. Harper.
Gottman Institute research summaries (various publications).
Showtime. (2019–2025). Couples Therapy.

In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, Ale and LJ continue on Ale’s quest to become rich with a beginner-friendly introduction to investing in the stock market.
You’ll learn:
💸 What to do before you invest (emergency fund, debt, budgeting)
📈 What a stock is, and why investing always involves risk
🧺 Why diversification matters, and how it reduces the chance of losing everything
🧩 What ETFs are, and why many beginners use them to spread risk
🔢 How long-term compounding can turn small, consistent contributions into big outcomes
🧘 Why staying calm during market dips can matter more than picking “the perfect” investment
🎧 Audio note: Sound quality is a bit rough in parts of this episode. Thanks for bearing with us.
🔗 References
U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). “Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs)”.
FINRA. “Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs)”.
Vanguard. “What is an ETF?”
Investopedia. “Diversification”.
Investopedia. “Compound Interest”.
S&P Dow Jones Indices. S&P 500 historical annual returns (long-run averages).
Federal Reserve. Survey of Household Economics and Decisionmaking (emergency savings / ability to cover a $400–$1,000 expense).
S&P Dow Jones Indices. S&P 500 drawdown during the 2007–2009 financial crisis (peak-to-trough decline and recovery timeline).
Nischa Shah. Personal finance guidance on emergency funds (3–6 months of expenses).

This week on Trial & Error & Error, we’re diving into cancel culture: what it actually means, where it came from, and why “accountability” online can sometimes turn into a full-blown pile-on.
⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode includes mention/discussion of rape/sexual violence. Please take care while listening.
🔊 Quick audio note: The sound quality in this episode isn’t the best in parts (sorry!) — thank you for bearing with us.
📅 New episode out Wednesday — listen wherever you get your podcasts 🎙️
💬 Question of the week: Have you ever deleted an old post out of fear? 😬
🎧 Episode Overview
We talk about digital footprints, screenshots being forever, and the very real anxiety of feeling like one old post could resurface and define you.
We explore the gray areas: Does time passed matter? Does intent matter? Are apologies ever “enough”? And should different public figures (politicians vs. reality TV stars vs. comedians) be judged by different standards?
Plus, we get into the psychology behind ostracism, outrage algorithms, group polarization, and what all of this does to creativity, growth, and the way Gen Z shows up online.
📚 Resources & References
Research Articles & Studies:
Ng, E. (2020). No grand pronouncements here…: Reflections on cancel culture and digital media participation. Television & New Media, 21(6), 621–627.
Clark, M. D. (2020). DRAG THEM: A brief etymology of “cancel culture.” Communication and the Public, 5(3–4), 88–92.
Ronson, J. (2015). So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed. Riverhead Books.
Williams, K. D. (2007). Ostracism. Annual Review of Psychology, 58, 425–452.
Williams, K. D., & Nida, S. A. (2011). Ostracism: Consequences and coping. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20(2), 71–75.
Brady, W. J., Wills, J. A., Jost, J. T., Tucker, J. A., & Van Bavel, J. J. (2017). Emotion shapes the diffusion of moralized content in social networks. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS), 114(28), 7313–7318.
Crockett, M. J. (2017). Moral outrage in the digital age. Nature Human Behaviour, 1, 769–771.
Sunstein, C. R. (2002). The law of group polarization. Journal of Political Philosophy, 10(2), 175–195.
Myers, D. G., & Lamm, H. (1976). The group polarization phenomenon. Psychological Bulletin, 83(4), 602–627.
Edmondson, A. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.
Haimovitz, K., & Dweck, C. S. (2016). What predicts children’s fixed and growth intelligence mind-sets? Not their parents’ views of intelligence but their parents’ views of failure. Psychological Science, 27(6), 859–869.
boyd, d. (2011). Social network sites as networked publics: Affordances, dynamics, and implications. In A Networked Self (pp. 39–58). Routledge.
Marwick, A. E., & boyd, d. (2011). I tweet honestly, I tweet passionately: Twitter users, context collapse, and the imagined audience. New Media & Society, 13(1), 114–133.
American Psychological Association (2022–2023). Stress in America Reports.
Twenge, J. M., Joiner, T. E., Rogers, M. L., & Martin, G. N. (2018). Increases in depressive symptoms, suicide-related outcomes, and suicide rates among U.S. adolescents after 2010. Clinical Psychological Science, 6(1), 3–17.
Nesi, J. (2020). The impact of social media on youth mental health. Current Opinion in Psychology, 31, 125–129.
Massanari, A. (2017). #Gamergate and The Fappening: How Reddit’s algorithm, governance, and culture support toxic technocultures. New Media & Society, 19(3), 329–346.
Gillespie, T. (2018). Custodians of the Internet. Yale University Press.
CareerBuilder (2018, 2021). Social Media Screening Studies.
Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM). Reports on social media screening in hiring.
 

Ever wondered if you should start getting Botox? 💉 In this episode, we dive deep into the world of cosmetic procedures, beauty standards, and the impact of social media on our perception of attractiveness. We explore the science behind "pretty privilege," discuss whether plastic surgery and body positivity can coexist, and share our honest thoughts on cosmetic enhancements.
From evolutionary psychology to Instagram filters, we're unpacking why we're all so obsessed with looking good – and whether it's worth going under the knife for. 🦋
Join us for a candid conversation about beauty, self-acceptance, and making choices that are right for YOU (not the algorithm). ✨
🎧 Episode Overview
The Science of Attraction – Why do we find certain features attractive? Evolutionary psychology explains our hardwired preferences
Pretty Privilege is Real – Research shows attractive people earn more, get better jobs, and are perceived as more competent
Social Media's Impact – How Instagram and TikTok have normalised cosmetic surgery and created unattainable beauty standards
Types of Procedures – Understanding the difference between plastic surgery, cosmetic surgery, and choosing the right doctor
The Risks – Why we've lost reverence for what is actually a potentially life-threatening operation
Personal Reflections – Honest conversation about our own relationship with appearance and cosmetic procedures
Making the Right Choice – How to approach cosmetic surgery for the right reasons (hint: not for the 'gram)
📚 Resources & References
Research Articles & Studies:
Facial attractiveness: evolutionary based research
New Study Unveils Career Impact of Attractiveness: Higher Salaries and Prestigious Roles Over Time – 2025 study tracking 43,000 MBA graduates
Why Do Good-looking People Get the Job? | SPSP – Research on the self-fulfilling prophecy of attractiveness
Podcasts:
"Plastic Surgery Uncensored" by Dr. Randy Rahban
Important Note:
Always verify your surgeon is board-certified, not just "board certified" in another speciality. Do your research Babes 💄

🎙️ Ever wondered why landing a job feels like running a marathon through an obstacle course? In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, we dive deep into the increasingly complicated world of job interviews. From endless interview rounds to AI-powered screening tools, we explore why the hiring process has become so complex — and what the science actually says about it all.
Join us as we unpack:
⏰ Why interview processes now stretch far beyond the ideal 21-day timeline
🔄 The explosion of multiple interview stages and what that means for candidates
🔬 What research reveals about structured vs. unstructured interviews
⚖️ How organisations' attempts at fairness sometimes backfire
🤖 The role of AI and technology in making things more complicated (not simpler!)
💬 The human psychology behind interview anxiety and uncertainty
Whether you're a job seeker frustrated by the process or an employer trying to hire better, this episode offers eye-opening insights backed by research and real-world examples.
💡 Spoiler alert: The solution isn't more steps — it's smarter structure and clearer communication.
🎧 Subscribe, share, and don't forget to leave us a review! Follow us @tee.podcast on Instagram and send us your hiring horror stories.
📚 Resources & References
Academic Research:
Smirnov, I., Lemmerich, F., & Strohmaier, M. (2021). Quota-based debiasing can decrease representation of the most under-represented groups. Royal Society Open Science, 8(9), 210821. https://doi.org/10.1098/rsos.210821
News Articles:
Smith, R. A. (2025, August 12). AI Is Forcing the Return of the In-Person Job Interview. The Wall Street Journal. https://www.wsj.com/lifestyle/careers/ai-job-interview-virtual-in-person-305f9fd0
Additional Sources Mentioned:
2023 Candidate Experience Survey — Austrian Employee Union
Meta-analyses on interview validity and structure (general research literature)
Research on contrast effects in interviewing
Studies on algorithmic fairness tools in hiring

Ever felt weird about your best friend's new partner? Like they've suddenly become a stranger? You're not alone—and science says you're not crazy either. 🧠💕
In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, we dive deep into one of friendship's most taboo topics: hating your bestie's partner. We explore the psychology behind why this happens, from friendship displacement theory to the neuroscience of love-induced bias. Spoiler alert: your gut feelings might be more accurate than you think. 👀
We break down research on relational identity changes, discuss why friends can spot red flags that love makes invisible, and share honest (and hilarious) data from our group chat questionnaire. Plus, we tackle the big question: should you ever say something? And what happens when you're vindicated after the breakup? 🎭
Whether you've been there, you're there now, or you're just curious about the science of friendship and romance, this episode will make you feel seen, validated, and maybe a little less alone in your brunch-time suffering. 😅
 
📋 Episode Overview
🔬 The Science of Friendship Displacement – Why romantic relationships can feel like they're "stealing" your friend
🧠 Love Makes You Blind (Literally) – How dopamine and oxytocin reduce critical judgment in romantic partners
👁️ Red Flag Detection – Why friends have clearer vision than people in love
💭 Three Reasons You Might Dislike Their Partner – Personality changes, protective instincts, and interpersonal incompatibility
📊 Group Chat Confessions – Real data on whether people speak up, stay silent, or accidentally sabotage
🗣️ Should You Say Something? – When intervention helps vs. when it backfires (reactance theory explained)
✅ The "I Told You So" Dilemma – What to do when you're vindicated after the breakup
💡 Final Takeaway – How to navigate these feelings without destroying your friendship
🔗 Resources & References
📚 Academic Research
Gershenfeld, J., & Witteman, H. (1996). Romantic relationships and friendships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 13(4), 519–541.
Sprecher, S., & Felmlee, D. (2000). Romantic partners' perceptions of social network interference. Personal Relationships, 7(4), 309–329.
Cross, S. E., Bacon, P. L., & Morris, M. L. (2000). The relational-interdependent self-construal. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(4), 791–808.
Rusbult, C. E., & Van Lange, P. A. M. (2003). Interdependence, interaction, and relationships. Annual Review of Psychology, 54, 351–375.
Fisher, H. E., Aron, A., & Brown, L. L. (2006). Romantic love: A mammalian brain system for mate choice. Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society B, 361(1476), 2173–2186.
Acevedo, B. P., et al. (2012). Neural correlates of long-term intense romantic love. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, 7(2), 145–159.
Fletcher, G. J. O., Simpson, J. A., & Thomas, G. (2000). The measurement of perceived relationship quality components. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 26(3), 340–354.
Lehmiller, J. J., & Agnew, C. R. (2007). Marginalized relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(6), 947–969.
Aquino, K., Reed, A., Thau, S., & Freeman, D. (2007). A grotesque and dark beauty. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93(3), 385–400.
Overall, N. C., & McNulty, J. K. (2017). What type of communication during conflict is beneficial for intimate relationships? Current Opinion in Psychology, 13, 1–5.
🌐 Additional Reading
Note: All primary sources cited in this episode are peer-reviewed academic journals accessible through research databases such as PsycINFO, Google Scholar, and institutional libraries.

In this episode, we dive deep into the world of social media addiction—exploring why we can't stop scrolling, what it's doing to our brains, and how we can take back control without going completely offline.
We break down:
🧠 The neuroscience behind social media addiction (dopamine, intermittent rewards, and infinite scroll)
🎯 Who's most vulnerable and why (hint: it's not just "weak-willed" people)
😥 The real consequences on mental health, relationships, and productivity
🤔 Why we CAN'T just quit social media entirely (spoiler: it's literally part of modern life)
🛠️ Practical strategies to use social media intentionally—without letting it use YOU
Whether you've tried quitting before or you're just starting to notice your screen time creeping up, this episode is packed with research-backed insights and actionable tips to help you build a healthier relationship with your phone.
Because the goal isn't to be chronically offline—it's to be intentionally online.
📋 Episode Overview
🎯 Introduction: What is social media addiction and why does it matter?
🧠 Segment 1: Why do we get addicted? (Neuroscience, psychology, and design)
😥 Segment 2: What are the consequences? (Mental health, relationships, performance)
🤑 Segment 3: Can we live without social media? (Spoiler: not really)
🛠️ Practical Strategies: How to escape the trap and use social media intentionally
✨ Conclusion: We don't need to quit—we need to learn how to use it properly
📚 Resources & References
Organizations & General Information:
American Psychiatric Association (APA) – https://www.psychiatry.org
American Heart Association – https://www.heart.org
World Health Organization – https://www.who.int
Research & Studies Referenced:
Studies on dopamine and reward systems in social media use
Research on intermittent reinforcement schedules and addiction
Studies linking heavy social media use to anxiety and depression
Research on social media's impact on sleep quality and blue light exposure
Studies on body image, eating disorders, and social media consumption
Research on attention span reduction and cognitive impacts of social media
Studies on loneliness paradox and superficial online interactions
Research on social media as a mediator between body image and self-esteem
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) effectiveness for social media addiction
Additional Resources:
iPhone Screen Time and app timer features for setting boundaries
Natacha Oceane (content creator mentioned in episode)
Statistics on digital skills required in 92% of U.S. jobs
Note: For specific academic papers and detailed citations, please refer to the full research notes or contact us at @tee.podcast on Instagram.
⚠️ Important Disclaimer
If you or someone you know is struggling with social media addiction or any form of addiction, please know that help is available and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Professional help can make a real difference. Addiction is a serious condition that often requires expert guidance, therapy, and support to overcome. You don't have to face it alone.
International Addiction Resources:
International Society of Addiction Medicine (ISAM) – Provides resources and connects individuals with addiction medicine professionals worldwide: https://www.isamweb.org
SMART Recovery – Offers free, evidence-based support groups in multiple countries and languages: https://www.smartrecovery.org
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline (U.S.) – Free, confidential, 24/7 helpline: 1-800-662-4357 or visit https://www.samhsa.gov
Remember: reaching out for help is the bravest and most important step you can take toward recovery.

Ever wondered what really happens in therapy? 🛋️ In this episode, we're breaking down everything you need to know about starting your therapeutic journey — from what therapy actually is (spoiler: it's not a quick fix!) to choosing the right therapist for YOU.
We dive into the different types of therapy, the questions you should ask during your first consultation, and why finding the right fit might take a few tries. Think of it as your ultimate guide to navigating the world of mental health support! 💭✨
Whether you're therapy-curious or already on your mental health journey, this episode will help you understand what to expect and how to make the most of your sessions.
🎯 Episode Overview
What therapy really is — and what it's NOT (it's a long-term investment, not a magic wand)
Why therapy matters — the power of having an impartial space to grow
Choosing the right therapist — comfort, alignment, credentials, and the importance of trial and error
Different types of therapy — from Psychotherapy to CBT to Group Therapy
Questions to ask your therapist — how to prepare for that first consultation
The journey of self-discovery — why therapy is worth the effort
📚 Resources & References
Ted Talks:
Why You Should Try Therapy Yesterday | Dr. Emily Anhalt | TEDxBoulder
What to expect from a therapy session | Alexis Powell-Howard | TEDxPatras
How to Choose The Right Therapist
Organizations mentioned:
American Heart Association
World Health Organization
Note: Additional studies and research referenced throughout the episode support the importance of therapist-client relationship quality and therapeutic outcomes.
⚠️ Important Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. We are sharing our personal opinions and outlining research we have found, but we are not licensed mental health professionals.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis or need professional support, please seek help from a qualified therapist, counselor, or mental health provider. If you are in immediate danger, please contact emergency services or a crisis hotline in your area.
Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider before making decisions about your mental health treatment.