Trial & Error & Error Podcast

Your 20s are basically: iced coffee ☕️, questionable texts 📱, and the bold confidence to say “I’ll start budgeting next week” 💸. So… naturally, we made an episode about it 🎙️✨
In this week’s chaos-coded chat, we’re breaking down the 10 biggest mistakes people make in their twenties — from thinking you need to have life “figured out” by 25 🫠, to building your entire personality around your job 💼, to staying in situationships that ended 3 business months ago 💔. It’s funny, it’s a little brutal 😅, it’s wildly relatable, and it might save you from at least one emotional support spiral 🌀
Expect laughs 😂, research-backed reality checks 🧠, and plenty of “wait… I do that” moments 😭
Key takeaways (aka your gentle wake-up call) ✅
You’re not behind — you’re just early ⏳💛 Your 20s are literally designed for experimenting, failing, pivoting, and trying again.
Your job is something you do, not who you are 💼≠🧍 Having multiple “identities” (friend, hobbyist, gym-goer, menace) makes you more resilient.
Money avoidance is expensive 💸📉 Compound interest doesn’t care that you were “too young to think about investing.”
Love shouldn’t feel like a full-time emergency 🚨❤️ Chaos isn’t chemistry.
Confidence is a reward, not a prerequisite 🏃‍♀️➡️😌 Action first, confidence later.
Almost nothing is permanent 🔁🌍 Careers change, people reinvent themselves, and you’re allowed to pivot without a dramatic rebrand.
Resources & sources mentioned 📚🔍
Books 📖
Meg Jay — The Defining Decade
Morgan Housel — The Psychology of Money
Ramit Sethi — I Will Teach You to Be Rich
Bill Perkins — Die With Zero
Brené Brown — The Gifts of Imperfection
James Clear — Atomic Habits
Oliver Burkeman — Four Thousand Weeks
Research / concepts 🧠
Arnett, J. J. (2000) — Emerging Adulthood: A Theory of Development From the Late Teens Through the Twenties (American Psychologist)
Arnett, J. J. (2014) — Emerging Adulthood: The Winding Road from the Late Teens Through the Twenties
Jay, M. (2012) — clinical work & research on the developmental importance of your twenties
Harvard Study of Adult Development (ongoing) — long-term findings on relationships, wellbeing, life satisfaction
Kahneman, D. & Tversky, A. — decision-making research (incl. Sunk Cost Fallacy)
World Health Organization (WHO) — young adult health & prevention guidance
OECD — financial literacy and youth economic wellbeing reports
Podcast / video inspiration 🎧📺
The Diary of a CEO (Steven Bartlett)
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Psychology of Your 20s
The School of Life (YouTube)
TED Talks: Meg Jay (“Why 30 Is Not the New 20”), Brené Brown (“The Power of Vulnerability”)

☀️ Summer Mode: Activated 🎙️🍹
Plot twist: your girls are taking a little summer breather. 💅🏽☀️
After a year of weekly episodes, questionable advice, unnecessary oversharing, deep conversations, chaotic stories and somehow turning our lives into podcast content… we’ve decided it’s time to slow things down just a tiny bit for summer.
But don’t panic — we’re not going anywhere! 💖
For the rest of the summer, the Trial and Error and Error Podcast will be switching from weekly episodes to one episode every two weeks. Our next full episode will be dropping next week, and then we’ll be back in your headphones every other week. 🎧✨
Consider this our ✨summer opening hours✨.
Most importantly, THANK YOU for understanding and for continuing to show up for us. Whether you’ve been here since episode one or discovered us somewhere along the way, every listen, share, message and recommendation means more to us than you know. 🥹🩷
So this isn’t goodbye. It’s simply:
☀️ Summer schedule: every two weeks🎙️ Next episode: next week💅🏽 Level of chaos: absolutely unchanged
Enjoy your summer, stay hydrated, wear your SPF, make good decisions (or at least decisions that make good podcast stories), and we’ll see you next week. 💋
Love,Ale and LJ 🩷🎙️

You know that friend who swears they’re happy for you… but somehow their “compliments” sting like a wax strip? Yeah. This episode is for that. 😬💅🔥
In “Toxic Friendships”, we dive into the glamorous, confusing, low-key unhinged world of the frenemy: the “bestie” who’s weirdly competitive, suspiciously jealous, and about as trustworthy as a man who says “I’m just going to the bathroom” at a party. We break down what actually makes a frenemy (spoiler: it’s not just “being a bit shady”), how frenemies are different from messy-but-real ambivalent relationships, and why some of us keep these people in our lives anyway (hello, shared friend groups and workplace politics).
Expect philosophy, psychology, petty anecdotes, and a loving reminder that boundaries are hotter than revenge. 📚🧠🍿🚧
✨ Key takeaways
Frenemies aren’t just “bad friends”: the pattern is usually competition + jealousy + lack of trust.
Ambivalent relationships (high highs + low lows) can still mess with your health—sometimes more than you’d expect.
Frenemies often happen when:
you used to be real friends,
you’re stuck in the same social circle/work/class,
the relationship survives on proximity, not peace.
You don’t always need to “cut them off dramatically in a restaurant.” Sometimes the move is awareness + boundaries + distance.
🔎 Resources & sources (mentioned in the episode)
Delaney & Malakhova (2018) — Philosophy Now article discussing frenemies as a friendship “façade” with underlying resentment.
Williams & Packer-Williams (2019) — Work discussing frenemies and relational aggression (and how definitions can get gendered).
Research on ambivalent relationships and health outcomes (e.g., links to cardiovascular stress, blood pressure, depression, and interpersonal conflict).
Aristotle’s classic friend categories (pleasure, utility, virtue) — and our unofficial addition: the frenemy, obviously.

Ever rehearsed asking for a raise... only to convince yourself you're being "too greedy" five minutes later? Yeah, us too. 😅
In this episode, we're diving into one of the most nerve-wracking conversations of your career: asking for more money. We unpack whether it's actually okay to ask for a raise in your first few years, why Millennials and Gen Z are changing jobs more than ever, how to figure out what you're really worth, and the exact questions you should ask your manager when it's time to talk salary.
No awkward corporate jargon, no "girl boss" clichés—just practical advice, research-backed insights, and the confidence boost you need to start advocating for yourself. Because doing great work deserves to be recognised. 💸✨
Key Takeaways 📝
Know your value before you negotiate: Research market salaries, understand your unique skills, and gather evidence of your achievements before asking for a raise.
It's about impact, not time served: You don't have to wait five years—if your responsibilities and contributions have grown, it's reasonable to start the conversation.
Preparation beats confidence: A well-prepared case with measurable results is far more persuasive than simply saying you've worked hard.
A "no" isn't the end: If a raise isn't possible now, ask what specific goals you need to achieve and agree on a timeline to revisit the discussion.
Salary isn't the only thing you can negotiate: Bonuses, flexible working, extra leave, professional development, and promotion pathways can all be valuable parts of your compensation.
Resources & Sources 🔗📚
European Commission — Labour Market and Wage Developments in Europe 2025
OECD — Employment Outlook 2025
International Labour Organization (ILO) — Global Wage Report
Linda Babcock & Sara Laschever — Women Don't Ask
Leigh Thompson — The Mind and Heart of the Negotiator
Daniel H. Pink — To Sell Is Human
Ramit Sethi — I Will Teach You To Be Rich
Adam Grant — Research on workplace performance, negotiation, and career development
Harvard Business Review — Articles on salary negotiation and career progression
Glassdoor — Salary Insights and Market Data
LinkedIn Salary Insights
Payscale — Compensation and Salary Research
Robert Half & Hays — European Salary Guides
Bank of America Institute — Research on wage growth among job switchers versus employees who stay with the same employer
(Friendly reminder: every company has different compensation policies and budget cycles. This episode is intended for educational purposes and offers general career advice—always consider your own workplace policies and circumstances when negotiating your salary.)

Can you believe it's been a whole year?
What started as two work besties chatting about life has grown into something we never imagined—a podcast, a community, and a friendship that's been shaped by every conversation we've had along the way.
In this special anniversary episode, we're turning the microphones on ourselves as we reflect on our first year of podcasting. We're asking each other the questions we've never asked before: our favourite episodes, biggest surprises, funniest behind-the-scenes moments, the lessons we've learned, and how creating this podcast has changed us both.
We'll also share what we've loved most about building this community, what your support has meant to us, and where we hope the podcast goes in Year Two.
Whether you've been listening since our very first episode or you've only just found us, thank you for being part of this journey. Every stream, follow, message, recommendation, and laugh has helped make this first year one we'll never forget.
So grab your favourite drink, settle in, and celebrate with us as we look back on an unforgettable first year—and dream about everything that's still to come.
💛 Thank you for listening.
🥂 Here's to Year One.
🎙️ Here's to many more.
Don't forget to follow the podcast, leave us a rating, and share this episode with someone who has been on the journey with us.

Ever wish STIs came with an unsubscribe button? Same. In this episode, we’re getting comfy with the uncomfy and talking all things STIs/STDs—what they are, how they spread (spoiler: it’s not just one kind of sex), why symptoms are not a trustworthy narrator, and how to protect yourself.
No shame, no scare tactics—just facts, laughs, and the kind of info that makes your future self say: “Omg thank you.” 💅🏽✨
Key Takeaways 📝
STI vs STD: An infection can exist without symptoms (STI), while an STD is when it progresses into a disease state.
You can’t “tell” by looking: Most STIs can be totally symptom-free—testing is the only real tea.
Transmission is broader than you think: Oral, anal, vaginal, skin-to-skin contact, and even shared toys can all be routes.
Prevention isn’t just condoms: Vaccines (HPV, Hep B), regular testing, honest convos, and PrEP/PEP for HIV all matter.
Stigma helps nobody: Having an STI isn’t a moral failing—it’s a medical situation. Period.
Resources & Sources 🔗📚
World Health Organization (WHO) — Sexually Transmitted Infections Fact Sheet (2025)
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) — About Sexually Transmitted Infections (2024)
CDC — Sexually Transmitted Infections Surveillance Report (2024)
CDC — STI Treatment Guidelines
Hufstetler K, et al. — Clinical Updates in Sexually Transmitted Infections (2024)
Wu Z, et al. — Global, Regional, and National Burden of HIV and Other STIs (2025)
Deng M, et al. — Global Burden of Disease 2021 Study Results (2025)
Wang W, Sawleshwarkar S, Piraveenan M. — Computational Approaches of Modelling HPV Transmission…: A Systematic Review (2024)
National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine — Sexually Transmitted Infections: Adopting a Sexual Health Paradigm
American Sexual Health Association — An Overview of Common STIs, Testing, and Treatment (2026)
National Health Service (NHS) — Sexually Transmitted Infections (2024)
Cribier B. — Sexually Transmitted Diseases: An Unprecedented Overview (2025)
(Friendly reminder: this episode is educational and not a substitute for medical advice—talk to a healthcare professional for personal guidance.)

Ever wondered why your body can feel like a high-performing athlete one week and a mildly haunted potato the next? 🏋️‍♀️🥔👻 This week on Trial & Error & Error, we’re talking periods, hormones, and the internet’s favorite wellness buzzword: cycle syncing. 🩸🧠✨
We break down the menstrual cycle (without the high school trauma), how hormonal contraception actually works, and what science really says about training “by your phase.” Spoiler: your uterus didn’t get the memo about being perfectly predictable—and neither did the research.
If you’ve ever thought, “Am I genuinely weaker today, or is my luteal phase just being dramatic?”… welcome home. 😮‍💨📉💅
Key takeaways
🗓️ There’s no “normal” cycle that fits everyone: 28 days is an average, not a rule—typical cycles vary widely (often ~21–35 days).
📈📉 Hormones fluctuate, but performance effects aren’t consistent: research shows some people feel worse in late luteal/early follicular, but objective performance changes are mixed and highly individual.
🧩 Cycle syncing isn’t a one-size-fits-all training plan: there isn’t strong evidence for a universal “best workout per phase,” so personalization beats trends.
😵‍💫 Perceived effort can change even if strength doesn’t: mood, sleep, stress, cramps, and symptoms can make the same workout feel harder—adjusting is not “quitting,” it’s smart.
🩺 If symptoms are intense or disruptive, get checked: conditions like PCOS/endometriosis can change everything—don’t normalize suffering.
🔗 Resources (links)
🌸 Start here (easy, practical reads)
Menstrual Cycle 101 (Clue) — a clear overview of phases, hormones, and what’s actually happening each month: Read
Birth Control 101 (Clue) — a plain-English guide to the different methods + how they work: Read
🧪 For the science-y listeners (research papers)
Menstrual cycle & performance review (Open access, PMC): PMC7916245
Hormones/menstrual cycle research (Open access, PMC): PMC6710244
Menstrual cycle / exercise-related research (Open access, PMC): PMC8508274
Cycle-related symptoms/physiology paper (Open access, PMC): PMC5820163
Cycle, hormones, and related health outcomes (Open access, PMC): PMC5708589
Peer-reviewed journal article (Springer) — may be behind a paywall depending on your access: 10.1007/s00737-020-01094-0

Ever been told to “forgive and forget” like your brain has a little Delete button and your nervous system didn’t get the memo? 🧠🗑️
In this episode, we unpack what forgiveness actually means (spoiler: it’s not excusing bad behavior, and it’s definitely not handing someone a VIP wristband back into your life). We get into the psychology, the history, the science, and the messy human reality of letting go—without gaslighting yourself into amnesia.
If you’re trying to heal from a betrayal, a friendship fallout, a situationship with audacity, or just your own past decisions… consider this your permission slip to forgive with boundaries and remember with wisdom. 🧾🧱✨
✨ Key takeaways
🤝 Forgiveness ≠ reconciliation. You can forgive someone and still choose distance.
🧠 Forgetting isn’t the goal—and often isn’t possible. Memory can be protection.
🧯 The opposite of forgiveness isn’t remembering; it’s staying emotionally on fire.
⚠️ “Forgive and forget” can be dangerous when it pressures people to tolerate harm.
🪞 Self-forgiveness matters too—when it includes accountability, not excuses.
🔎 Resources & sources (for the show notes)
📘 Robert Enright’s forgiveness process model research🎯 Everett Worthington’s REACH Forgiveness Model📊 Wade, Hoyt, Kidwell & Worthington (2014): meta-analysis on forgiveness interventions🧑‍⚕️ American Psychological Association (APA): forgiveness and health🧾 Kim et al. (2022): forgiveness and psychological health outcomes🧠 Raj et al. (2016): mental health and forgiveness🕰️ Historical origins of the phrase “forgive and forget”📰 Washington Post coverage referencing recent forgiveness research + the Global Flourishing Study

Hot weather. ☀️ Cold drinks. 🍸 Questionable decisions. 😏 In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, Ale and LJ deep-dive into the chaotic magic of the summer romance: the situationship season where vitamin D hits, inhibitions drop, and someone in linen convinces you you’re “normally not like this.” 💃🏽
We unpack the classic tropes (camp crushes, lifeguards, summer jobs, first kisses, long-distance flings, and the legendary glow-up), swap stories, and ask the important scientific question: is this person hot… or is it just 33°C and a spritz? 🍹 Expect laughs, mild emotional damage, and at least one moment where you’ll think, “Wait… I’ve done that.”
Key takeaways ‼️
Summer romance hits different because everything is amplified: travel energy, social momentum, and the “YOLO” effect of long days and short attention spans.
Tropes are tropes for a reason—if it feels like a movie plot, it probably is.
Boundaries + hydration are both essential. (One prevents heartbreak. The other prevents the next-day shame spiral.)
A fling isn’t automatically a mistake—but if it’s built on vibes only, don’t act surprised when it evaporates by September.

Summer is here: bikinis are out 👙, iced coffees are in ☕… and so is that annoying little voice whispering 😕, “Should I be more toned by now?” In this episode of Trial & Error, we unpack the global obsession with the “summer body” and ask the only logical question: who invented this—and why are they so loud about it every June? 💬
We get into why body dissatisfaction spikes in summer across countries, how beauty standards change depending on where you grew up (thin + tan vs curvy vs pale + delicate), and why the one thing that never changes is this: someone is always profiting off the insecurity. Then we bring it back to reality with a simple, non-chaotic way to feel stronger and more confident—without turning your life into a full-time punishment project.
Because your body doesn’t need to be “summer-ready.” Summer needs to be you-ready. ☀️
Key takeaways‼️
The “summer body” ideal is culturally specific (and constantly moving), but the pressure to chase it is worldwide.
If you moved somewhere your body type was the beauty standard, your insecurities might still follow—because this isn’t just about appearance, it’s about what we’ve linked our self-worth to.
The confidence glow-up isn’t a diet—it’s detaching your value from aesthetics.
If you do want body goals, the boring stuff works:
Lift progressively (yes, the heavier ones)
Prioritize protein
Build consistent balanced meals (not perfect ones)
Take recovery seriously (sleep is part of the program)
Resources & sources mentioned 📚
University of Melbourne study on seasonal body dissatisfaction (summer peak, winter lowest) across multiple countries (as discussed in the episode).
YouGov international survey on body satisfaction (mentioned: Indonesia ranking high in reported satisfaction).
Cultural context referenced in the episode:
Beauty standards + media influence across regions (Western countries, Latin America, Southern Europe, East Asia, Sub-Saharan Africa, Middle East, Southeast Asia)
The commercialization of beauty ideals (diet culture, cosmetic procedures, skin-whitening markets, etc.)