Trial & Error & Error Podcast

Ever tried to manifest a new job, a new partner, or at least a parking spot… and then wondered if the universe left you on read? 🤔
In Ethis episode, LJ & Ale dive into the Law of Attraction and separate the glittery “good vibes only” myth from the psychology that actually moves the needle. ✨ From self-fulfilling prophecies and placebo effects to the brain’s sneaky filters, we unpack why manifestation feels so convincing, where it gets messy, and how to use the helpful parts without slipping into magical thinking.
Key takeaways
Mindset does not magically pull outcomes toward you, but it can change your behavior in ways that make outcomes more likely.
Self-fulfilling prophecy is real: what you expect influences what you do, and what you do shapes what happens.
Placebo is not “fake.” Belief can meaningfully impact stress, mood, and pain.
Confirmation bias and selective attention can make it feel like the universe is sending signs, when your brain is just highlighting patterns.
Positive thinking works best with planning and action, not passive wishing.
Watch the dark side: victim-blaming, ignoring structural barriers, and waiting instead of acting.
Resources & sources 📚
Scientific & academic
Merton, R. K. (1948). The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Bandura, A. (1977). Self-Efficacy Theory
Seligman, M. (1998). Learned Optimism
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking, Fast and Slow
Placebo research in journals such as The Lancet and JAMA
Popular / cultural context
Byrne, R. The Secret
Hill, N. Think and Grow Rich
Sincero, J. You Are a Badass
If you want the “manifestation” glow-up without the pseudoscience, this one’s for you.

Summer is calling. Your bank account is not. In this cheeky money-chat episode, we’re prepping for sunny plans without the post-holiday financial hangover. We talk budgets that actually work in real life, how to plan your “perfect summer” without pretending you’re on a yacht in Capri, and the one habit that saves you from waking up in September like: Who is Zara and why do they have all my money?
✅ Key takeaways
Build a “perfect summer” calendar first, then price it. Your budget should match your actual plans, not your fantasy life.
Use the 50/30/20 rule to set a guilt-free fun budget. Your “wants” category is where the Aperols live.
Prioritize your non-negotiables. Spend on the biggest joy first, then adjust the rest.
Do weekly or biweekly budget check-ins. Flexibility is allowed. Financial amnesia is not.
Keep 90% of the fun at 50% of the cost. Picnics, hikes, swims, and free city events can do a lot of heavy lifting.
🔗 Resources & sources
50/30/20 budgeting rule (overview): https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/finance/50-30-20-budget
Budgeting basics and worksheets: https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/making-budget
Expense tracking tips: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/b/budget.asp
Free and low-cost things to do (search by city)

Ever caught yourself thinking “I’m happy for you… but why do I feel weird about it?” 😅 In this episode, we’re getting uncomfortably honest about envy in friendships — the kind that shows up when your bestie levels up, and suddenly your brain decides it’s a competition.
We break down why jealousy hits hardest with the people closest to us, what psychology says is actually going on, and how to spot the difference between malicious envy (yikes) and benign envy (the glow-up version ✨). Expect spicy truths, a little Aristotle, and a Daddy Yankee quote you didn’t know you needed.
✅ Key Takeaways
Envy usually shows up when someone has something you want, and they feel similar to you.
Friend groups come with “roles,” and when someone levels up in your lane, it can shake your identity.
Envy can slide from insecurity into resentment if it stays unspoken.
Benign envy can be fuel: let it motivate you, not isolate you.
Honest conversations and self-worth are the antidote to envy spirals.
🔗 Resources
Aristotle’s definition of envy (classic, dramatic, still accurate).
Research on benign vs malicious envy and how envy can motivate goal pursuit.

If your 21-year-old self could see your current festival packing list, they would call you a sellout. Your current self would call it hydration and planning. 💧🧃📋
In this episode, we unpack Festival Era 2.0: the shift from “survive the mud and the 3am kebab” to soft festivaling. Think better toilets, earlier bedtimes, selective lineups, and the brave decision to pay for comfort like the responsible adult you never thought you’d become.
We talk about how festivals hit different in your late twenties and early thirties, why “VIP” starts sounding less like a scam and more like a safety plan, and how the real headliner becomes: making it home with your dignity intact.
✨ Key takeaways
🏃‍♀️➡️🛋️ Your festival era evolves from endurance sport to curated experience.
🧠🧻 Comfort is not laziness. It is strategy.
🎶📅 Lineup FOMO decreases. Schedule planning increases.
👯‍♀️❤️ Your festival “crew” gets smaller, and the friendships get better.
🧊😴 Recovery time becomes part of the itinerary. Yes, Monday matters.
🔎 Resources & sources 
📊 Statista reports on the global music festival market size
🎟️ Eventbrite and Pollstar festival attendance and industry data
📰 Blog and industry commentary:
Festicket Blog
Ticketmaster Insights
Resident Advisor features
💬 Community discussions and lived-experience takes:
Reddit threads in r/festivals and r/Coachella on aging festival culture
📺 YouTube commentary on festival burnout, VIP trends, and “soft festivaling”
🎧 Podcast conversations on lifestyle shifts in late twenties and early thirties (various culture podcasts)

In Highs & Lows: Substance Use in the Modern Era 🎙️✨, we’re taking a clear-eyed, non-judgmental look at what “substance use” really means today.
From the 1990s prescription opioid boom 💊 to the 2020s rise of synthetic drugs like fentanyl ⚠️, we trace how the landscape has shifted and why the risks can look so different now.
We also dig into the generational changes: why Gen Z is drinking less 🍷⬇️, why vaping is up 🚬⬆️, and how mental health awareness 🧠 and digital life 📱 are reshaping choices and behaviors.
Along the way, we cover:
Definitions: use vs misuse vs substance use disorder (SUD) ✅
What’s changing in legal, prescription, illicit, and emerging substances 🌍
The real physical, psychological, and social risks 🧩
Cultural shifts like “sober curious” 🥤, wellness alternatives 🌿, and new therapy research 🔬
If you or someone you know needs support, we’ve included resources below 
Resources ❤️
If in immediate danger call your local emergency number:
EU 112;
Austria Ö3 Kummernummer 116 123,
Rat auf Draht (for young people) 147,
Suchthilfe Wien https://suchthilfe.wien,
Gesundheit Österreich: Suchtberatung directory https://www.gesundheit.gv.at/leben/sucht/suchtberatung;
International SAMHSA National Helpline (US) 1-800-662-HELP https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline,
FindTreatment.gov https://findtreatment.gov,
UK FRANK https://www.talktofrank.com and NHS services https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/addiction-support,
Canada https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/substance-use.html,
Narcotics Anonymous https://www.na.org,
Alcoholics Anonymous https://www.aa.org,
SMART Recovery https://www.smartrecovery.org.
🔗 References
American Psychiatric Association (DSM-5 criteria for SUD)
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) – overdose statistics
Monitoring the Future Study (University of Michigan)
National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA)
World Health Organization (WHO) reports on substance use
Volkow, N. et al. (2021–2024). Trends in opioid and stimulant use
Twenge, J. (2017–2023). Generational behavioral research
Patrick, M. E., & Schulenberg, J. (2020). Adolescent substance trends
Johns Hopkins Psychedelic Research Unit publications

In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, Ale and LJ unpack the toxic habit cycle: the decision to change, the burst of momentum, the inevitable stumble, and the slow slide back to square one.
You will hear why willpower is not the real solution, and how behavior change science points to a smarter path. Together, they share three practical tools to help you break autopilot patterns and rebuild habits that actually stick.
In this episode:
🔁 What the toxic habit cycle looks like, and why it keeps repeating
🧠 Why “just try harder” rarely works, and what to do instead
🎯 Tool 1: Clarify what you actually want, and make it concrete
🧩 Tool 2: Find your specific breaking points, and plan for them
🧘 Tool 3: Use mindfulness to catch habits before they take over
💬 A chat section to reflect on your “THAT girl” fantasy, relapses, and real-life triggers
🎧 Takeaway: Try smarter, not harder, and treat habit change like a skill you can practice.

In this episode of Trial & Error & Error, LJ and Ale unpack the truth behind open relationships and consensual non-monogamy. From definitions and common relationship styles to what the research says about satisfaction, jealousy, stigma, and mental health, they lay out the potential benefits and real risks so listeners can decide what fits their values.
In this episode, we cover:
💬 What an open relationship is (and what it is not)
🧩 Different types of consensual non-monogamy: swinging, polyamory, open relationships, and relationship anarchy
📊 What research says about relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction
🧠 Why jealousy still shows up, and how some couples manage it
⚠️ Common risks: unequal desire, boundary violations, and communication breakdowns
🧭 When opening a relationship might help, and when it can backfire
🛠️ A science-based approach to opening a relationship with clear boundaries and check-ins
✨ Listener takeaway: Open relationships are not a shortcut to fixing problems. They tend to amplify whatever is already present, so success depends on honesty, trust, and ongoing communication.
📚 REFERENCES (ACADEMIC & MEDIA)
Rubel, A. N., & Bogaert, A. F. (2016). Consensual nonmonogamy: Psychological well-being and relationship quality. Journal of Sex Research.
Conley, T. D., et al. (2013). A critical examination of popular assumptions about the benefits and outcomes of monogamous relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Review.
Moors, A. C., et al. (2017). Stigma toward consensual non-monogamy. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Sheff, E. (2014). The Polyamorists Next Door.
Haupert, M. L., et al. (2017). Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Podcast: Multiamory Podcast (relationship science & CNM communication)
Podcast: Esther Perel’s Where Should We Begin?
YouTube: Talks by relationship therapist Esther Perel on modern intimacy

Wedding planning looks dreamy on Pinterest, but in real life it is a mix of excitement, big decisions, and a few “wait… how much?!” moments 😅💍
In this episode, LJ shares her real-time wedding update: what the engagement was like, how couples can set expectations together, and the budgeting reality check that hits fast 💸. From choosing a venue 🏛️ and navigating guest list feelings 📋, to finding the right vendors 🎶📸🍰 and adding personal touches like the dress 👗, this is a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to plan a wedding while keeping the relationship at the center ❤️✨
🌟 Key Takeaways
Get aligned early as a couple so planning feels like teamwork, not tension 🤝❤️
Budget first, dream second because wedding costs add up quickly 💰🧾
The venue drives everything including the date, guest count, and overall vibe 🏛️🗓️
Guest lists are emotional so boundaries and kindness matter 📋🫶
Pick vendors based on priorities since they shape the experience of the day 🎶📸
Expect stress, but protect the joy by building in fun moments along the way ✨🍰
Perfection is optional but love and intention are not 💞

Ever feel like you’re one slightly-too-optimistic to-do list away from spontaneously combusting? Same.
In this episode, Ale and LJ take on the philosophy of burnout: why “we work less than ever” can still somehow feel like “I have 37 jobs and they all hate me.” We unpack how modern achievement culture turns us into our own boss, our own employee, and our own extremely judgmental HR department.
Expect big thoughts, small jokes, and at least one spiritual attack on hustle culture. 😌🔥
✅ Key Takeaways
Burnout is not just tiredness. It is chronic exhaustion plus cynicism and that creeping “I’m failing at life” feeling. 🫠
Achievement culture hands you the whip. Nobody has to pressure you when your inner critic is working overtime. 🧠⚡
Individualism can make everything transactional. Friends become “networking,” dating becomes a job interview, and vulnerability becomes a risk assessment. 🧍‍♀️📉
Rest becomes suspicious. If your hobby does not monetize itself by Tuesday, capitalism is disappointed in you. 😭🧘
The irony: the “freer” you are to become anything, the less free you feel while chasing an impossible perfect version of yourself. 🪞🏃
🔗 Resources
Mentioned in the episode
Unsolicited Advice (YouTube) — inspiration for the episode’s philosophical framing
Byung-Chul Han — The Burnout Society (key idea: the “achievement society” and self-exploitation)
Extra resources for listeners
Christina Maslach & Michael P. Leiter — research on burnout (incl. the Maslach Burnout Inventory)
World Health Organization (WHO) — “Burn-out” (ICD-11) definition and overview
Cal Newport — Slow Productivity (and related talks on sustainable work)
Emily & Amelia Nagoski — Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
Johan Hari — Lost Connections (on disconnection, meaning, and well-being)

Couples therapy is not just for relationships on the brink. In this episode, LJ and Ale unpack when to start couples therapy, what research says about timing, and the signs that “we’re fine” might actually mean “we’re stuck.” 💬🧠
You’ll hear about:
Early intervention and why it works ✅
The “Four Horsemen” warning signs ⚠️
High-risk transition seasons that can test any relationship 🔁
Different therapy styles, from EFT to the Gottman Method 🧩
How to find a therapist that fits you (not just the internet) 🔍
If you’ve ever wondered whether it’s “bad enough” to go to therapy, this episode is your gentle nudge: you do not have to wait for a disaster to get support. 🫶🏽
🎛️ Editor’s note: The audio quality in this recording is not our best. We’re sorry about that, and we appreciate your patience while we keep improving our setup.
📚 References
American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (2015). Consumer Update Survey.
Doss, B. D., et al. (2009). The effect of the transition to parenthood on relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Gottman, J. M. (1994). Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. Simon & Schuster.
Johnson, S. M., et al. (1999). Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Status and challenges. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice.
Wiebe, S. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2016). A review of the research in Emotionally Focused Therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Williamson, H. C., et al. (2016). Timing and effectiveness of couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
Perel, E. (2017). Mating in Captivity. Harper.
Gottman Institute research summaries (various publications).
Showtime. (2019–2025). Couples Therapy.